2,072 words, 11 minutes read time.
Greetings to you all, whether you’re here by choice or because someone invited you to this gathering. Perhaps some of you are believers, and perhaps some of you are not. I can sense the weight of your skepticism. I can feel the questions and the doubts hanging in the air like a storm cloud. Believe me, I know what it feels like to stand in your shoes. Once, I too was a man of doubt, a man who struggled to accept the truth before him. My name is Bartholomew, one of the twelve apostles of Jesus Christ. But before you hear the story of how I became a disciple, let me first tell you about the man I was before I met Jesus—because it is only in understanding the depth of my skepticism and my failures that you will truly grasp the gravity of my transformation.
A Skeptical Heart
I will admit to you, there was a time when I scoffed at the idea of a Messiah from Nazareth. Can you blame me? Nazareth? That obscure, backwater town? How could anything good, anything truly divine, come from a place like that? When Philip—one of the other disciples—came to me with this news, I laughed. “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” I asked him. I suppose it was a question, but in my heart, it was a statement of disbelief, a rejection of the very possibility of truth in what he was saying. I had heard many claims before. Many people had come and gone, claiming to be prophets, claiming to be the Messiah. They had all failed. So why should this Jesus be any different?
I was a man of logic, of reason. I needed more than mere words. I needed proof. I needed something tangible. Something undeniable. Philip, however, was insistent. “Come and see,” he said, urging me to meet this man. Perhaps, he thought, seeing Jesus in person would convince me. I was reluctant, but curiosity gnawed at me, and I followed. Little did I know, that single act of following would set my life on a course I could never have imagined.
A Moment of Revelation
When I first saw Jesus, I was not expecting anything remarkable. I had prepared myself for disappointment. But what happened next shattered everything I thought I knew. As I approached Jesus, He looked at me intently, and without a moment’s hesitation, He said, “Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false.” I froze. How could He know that? I had never met this man before, and yet He knew me. He knew my heart, my struggles, my doubts. But what truly struck me was not just His words, but the way He spoke them—with such authority, such understanding, as though He had known me all my life.
“How do you know me?” I asked, my voice trembling. And He replied, “I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.” I was stunned. How could He possibly know that? The fig tree had been my place of solitude, where I often sought refuge from the noise of the world. That moment, that seemingly insignificant moment, was known to Him. It was as if the veil of my life had been pulled back, and He could see into the very depths of my soul.
At that moment, something changed within me. The doubt that had consumed me, the skepticism that had shaped my every thought, began to unravel. I looked at Jesus, and I saw Him for who He truly was. “Rabbi,” I said, “You are the Son of God; You are the King of Israel.” It was not a declaration made lightly; it was a declaration made with the full weight of my heart and mind. In that instant, I knew that I had encountered something far greater than myself. I had encountered the truth.
The Call to Follow
And so, I followed Him. The man who had read my heart, the man who had revealed the truth of who I was, called me to follow Him. It wasn’t an easy decision. I had a life, a future, a reputation. I had friends, family, responsibilities. But none of that mattered anymore. In the presence of Jesus, all those things seemed irrelevant. The pull of His calling was stronger than any earthly attachment I had.
As I traveled with Him, I saw things that defied explanation. I witnessed miracles—sick people healed with a touch, blind eyes opened, the dead raised to life. I heard teachings that cut to the heart, that challenged everything I thought I knew about God, about life, about myself. Jesus spoke of a Kingdom not of this world, a Kingdom that could only be entered by humility, by love, by sacrifice. It was a message that turned the world upside down.
But as much as I believed in Jesus, as much as I was drawn to Him, there was still a part of me that struggled. My own pride, my own ambition, constantly pulled me away from the true calling He had placed on my life. I wrestled with the idea of what it truly meant to follow Him, to lay down my own desires for the sake of His Kingdom.
Walking with the Messiah
The years I spent with Jesus were filled with moments of awe and wonder, but also moments of confusion and doubt. There were times when I didn’t fully understand what He was doing or why He was doing it. There were times when I wanted to take matters into my own hands, to act according to my own wisdom. But each time I did, I was reminded of my own weakness, my own failure to see the bigger picture.
Jesus, however, never failed me. He always saw me, even when I couldn’t see myself. He loved me, even when I didn’t deserve it. There were times when I felt unworthy, times when I felt like I was not enough. But Jesus—He never wavered. He was patient with me, just as He was with all the disciples. His love was constant, unchanging.
I remember the day He asked us, “Who do you say I am?” The question seemed simple enough, but it cut to the heart. And when Peter declared, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God,” Jesus affirmed his words, but then He turned to all of us and said that it was on this rock that He would build His Church. I remember thinking, “Who am I to be a part of this? Who am I to be included in such a plan?” But Jesus chose me, as He chose all of us, to be part of something much bigger than ourselves.
The Crucifixion and Resurrection
The darkest moment of my life came the night of His arrest. We had shared the Passover meal, and Jesus had told us that one of us would betray Him. I didn’t understand. How could one of us betray Him? He was our Teacher, our Rabbi, our Lord. But then, just as He said, Judas left, and the rest of us were left in confusion and fear.
What followed was beyond anything I could have imagined. Jesus was arrested, tried, and condemned to die. I remember the fear that gripped my heart as I watched Him carry His cross, His body beaten and bruised, His face covered in blood. I wanted to be strong, to stand with Him, but fear took hold of me, and I ran. I was ashamed of my weakness, ashamed of my inability to stand firm in His presence.
But the greatest shock of all came three days later. Jesus rose from the dead. He was alive! The One I had followed, the One I had betrayed with my doubt, had conquered death. The joy I felt in that moment is impossible to put into words. In His resurrection, I found my redemption.
The Call to Spread the Gospel
After His resurrection, Jesus gave us a command: go and make disciples of all nations. He gave us the power to baptize, to heal, to cast out demons, and to spread the message of the Kingdom. I knew that my life would never be the same. I knew that I had been called to a mission that was far greater than anything I had ever imagined.
I traveled far and wide, spreading the gospel in lands where the name of Jesus had never been heard. I encountered dangers, faced opposition, and experienced suffering, but through it all, I felt the presence of Christ guiding me, strengthening me, urging me forward. There were moments when I doubted my own ability, when I wondered if I was truly worthy of the task, but then I would remember the words of Jesus: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
The Martyrdom of Bartholomew
In the end, I paid the ultimate price for my faith. I was captured and brought before the authorities, who demanded that I renounce Jesus. But I could not. I would not. My loyalty to Him was unwavering, even in the face of death. They flayed me alive, tearing my skin from my body, but in that moment, I felt no pain. I felt only peace. For I knew that I had been faithful to the end.
My death was not in vain. It was a testament to the truth I had found in Jesus. And though my body was broken, my soul was free. I had been redeemed, not by my own strength, but by the grace of the One who had called me.
A Closing Invitation
And so, my friends, I stand before you now, not as a man of doubt, but as a man of faith. I urge you to consider the path you are on. I was once like you—skeptical, questioning, lost in my own pride. But I found the truth in Jesus. And I pray that you, too, will find that truth. Whether you believe or not, whether you are ready or not, I invite you to come and see. The truth is waiting for you, just as it was waiting for me.
If you choose to follow Him, He will never let you go. He will see you, He will know you, and He will transform you, just as He transformed me.
A Personal Invitation from the Author
Thank you for taking the time to read this story of faith, doubt, and redemption. It’s my hope that, like Bartholomew, you too will find the courage to confront your doubts and take the journey toward something greater. Whether you’re on a path of belief or still questioning, there is always room for growth, learning, and transformation.
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Sources
- What Do We Know About Nathanael, the Disciple Without Deceit? – Bible Study Tools
- Saint Bartholomew – Britannica
- Who was Bartholomew in the Bible? – Got Questions
- Saint Bartholomew – Catholic Online
- Saint Bartholomew – Ancient History Encyclopedia
- John 1:43-51 – Bible Gateway
- What We Can Learn from Bartholomew the Apostle – CBN
- Why Did Bartholomew the Apostle Have to Die? – Christianity.com
- The Martyrdom of Saint Bartholomew – Patheos
- What We Know About the Apostles – The Gospel Coalition
- Bartholomew the Apostle – Wikipedia
- 10 Things You Should Know About Bartholomew the Apostle – Crosswalk
- Bartholomew: The Forgotten Apostle – JSTOR
- Saint Bartholomew: The Apostle’s Legacy – National Geographic
Disclaimer:
The views and opinions expressed in this post are solely those of the author. The information provided is based on personal research, experience, and understanding of the subject matter at the time of writing. Readers should consult relevant experts or authorities for specific guidance related to their unique situations.